While practicing my quick draw, i shot this website in the foot, and it was down for several days. Won’t do that again, at least until it heals.
Yeah, yeah, they put a man on the moon, but that was decades ago, and since then it’s been one outrage after another from NASA, most egregiously their mendacious campaign in recent years to get Americans to buy in to the global warming hoax with their faux news about melting glaciers, their photoshopped pictures of a supposed crack in the Larsen-C ice shelf, and their faked videos of cruise ships supposedly plowing at full speed through an ice-free Northwest Passage.
But now they’ve outdone themselves, sunk to a new low. At enormous taxpayer expense they’ve arranged for a total solar eclipse to sweep the nation from coast to coast this coming August 21, sowing chaos in a broad swath through our White Christian heartland from Oregon to South Carolina while studiously avoiding any harm to our immigrant-filled liberal cities.
The damage will be incalculable. Who knows how many of our precious dollars they will waste keeping the moon in the right position for the duration of the eclipse, but that’s only the beginning. American free enterprise will be completely disrupted all across the nation during the eclipse as workers down tools and gawk while customers stay outdoors not making a single purchase. The social fabric will be rent as little children open their eyes to take a peek during prayers in their private schools, wholesome religious couples abstain from procreative intercourse to watch the Satanic display, and liberals abandon their godless cities and swarm the countryside spewing atheistic astronomy.
I call on President Trump to issue an executive order pulling all funding from NASA and pronounce a fatwa to stop this outrage before it’s too late. I call on Betsy DeVos to provide emergency corrective curricula for our schools to teach our children the right truth, that only Joshua can get God to mess around with the progress of the sun and moon as they circle the earth.
And as a final measure in case we can’t stop the eclipse, I call on godfearing Americans on August 21st to ride their coalrollers on our highways and byways while burning piles of old tires in their yards, together creating such a pall of smoke that nobody will be able to see the eclipse and we can deny that it happened. Those who are outside the smoke-covered areas should just stay in their homes with their eyes closed in prayer during the eclipse so they can declare in Fox News interviews, “I was home all day and ain’t seen no exclipse.”
One caution: Pat Buchanan and our other fine religious leaders will need to alert their congregations that this is NOT the Rapture, so they should avoid stripping off all their clothes and running into the streets.
Meanwhile, a morning shot of the Petaluma River.