Let’s imagine that after he was elected President Obama began drifting to the right and instituted repressive surveillance of the population as well as clamping down on dissent. During the rightward drift he increased the rate of privatization of public resources and even went so far as to privatize the White House, turning it at public expense into his palatial residence with glittering gold, elaborate woodwork, and lots of marble…but no public access.
Then he began pushing for closer economic and political ties with Canada, recognizing that the US was highly dependent on Canadian petroleum products and that it was thus important to maintain good relations with them. When critics complained that he was giving up too much control to the Canadians, he declared martial law and instituted a crackdown.
But the citizens had had enough and began staging mass protests in Washington, so Obama called in troops to maintain order. Nevertheless, the protests grew, and the military began firing into the unruly crowds. Dozens died. The protests grew larger. And finally, Congress grew a spine and impeached Obama. Nonsense, said Obama, I’m still President.
But then, as the protesters took over more and more government buildings, Congress decided that perhaps Obama should be arrested and charged with murder for the deaths of all those civilians. Obama took this as a sign that he and Michelle and the kids should jump into a helicopter in the middle of the night for a quick vacation to their home town, Chicago, where their supporters vastly outnumbered the opposition. Once there, they decided that this would be a nice time to visit Canada, but when they got to the airport to meet the private jet they’d chartered, troops loyal to Congress blocked their boarding.
Time to execute Plan B, an overland trip to Duluth, a hotbed of Canadian sympathizers, where a Canadian gunboat has made a voyage down Lake Superior and docked on a friendly visit.
Meanwhile, back in Washington, the gates to the White House were thrown open and thousands of ordinary citizens swarmed onto the grounds to peer at the luxurious appointments, champagne cellars, and exotic animals in the private zoo…and to recover and spread out to dry reams of documents that had been tossed into the pond as Obama fled. And yes, the documents were thrown into the pond because they detailed some of the corruption in the Obama administration.
As our tale ends, Obama has escaped from Duluth and resurfaced in Ottowa. In Duluth and Chicago, the populace is clamoring for secession and incorporation into Canada and has taken over federal buildings while Canadian troops have been sent in to maintain order. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has declared that he has no intention of invading the remainder of the United States and is merely providing a few troops in border areas to protect pro-Canadian citizens and those of Canadian ethnicity.
Too far fetched? Ummm, take a look at Ukraine. Hint: Duluth = Sevastopol, etc.
For today’s pic, a favorite switchbox, off 24th Street between Mission and Valencia.
