Dear Senator Feinstein,
Spurred a recent protest exhortation, I just called your San Francisco office, but nobody picked up and i was diverted to voicemail. I tried to leave a voicemail message and was told that your voicemail inbox was full. Goodness, you must be a very popular senator nowadays.
For nearly forty years, I’ve been voting for you for supervisor, mayor, and senator and in fact have never voted against you.
But the other day I read that you were apologizing to Angela Merkel for tapping her cell phone, and that popped my cork. Nonsense, i say, to keep our nation strong we need to gather intelligence on foreign powers, even those we currently think of as allies. Every reasonable citizen understands this and would wonder what your reason for apologizing to Frau Kanzler Merkel might be other than the courtesy that powerful politicians extend to each other.
A courtesy they don’t extend to their constituents. I find it utterly outrageous that you would apologize to Merkel while at the same time declare it necessary to record and save every syllable I utter, every character I type under the preposterous claim that you are doing this to protect me from terrorists. That makes about as much sense as saying you were tapping Merkel’s phone in order to protect her from terrorists.
What i need protection from is YOU. And it is my fervent hope that a majority of your constituents will soon come to the same conclusion.
Since i was unable to get through to you by telephone, i am trying to send you this message via email although it occurs to me that so many of your constituents may be trying to reach you by email that you will have also blocked that avenue of communication. If that fails, i guess i’ll try mailing you a traditional letter, but it’ll probably come back stamped UNDELIVERABLE.
The next step would obviously be to rally a crowd of your former supporters to go to the corner of Lyon and Vallejo and encircle your house in shifts 24/7 waving placards demanding freedom from your surveillance, but i haven’t been past your house recently and won’t be a bit surprised to find that you’ve taken the precaution of setting up a block away a defensive perimeter of specially trained SWAT team goons to protect you from your loyal American constituents.
I do not want to live in a police state, even with you as Big Sister.
Yours in complete disenchantment,
Here’s a lovely valentine on Market Street, but not to Big Sister.