Folks, we have a problem – while all these whistle-blowers are exposing the lies and machinations of our Power Structure, they are unduly upsetting the populace.

But continuing my long tradition of unsung public-spirited heroism in providing solutions to our national problems, i have an answer.

All we have to do to restore law and order is provide our whistle-blowers with silent dog whistles audible only to the NSA.

Return to your homes, problem solved. And relax, the drones overhead are keeping you safe.

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