21 January 2013

Bulletin

Troops loyal to the President ringed the capital city today as pro-government demonstrators, many members of the President’s minority sect, thronged the streets to celebrate his inauguration.

In the rebel-held provinces, discontent seethed, but there was relatively little violence other than the customary fratricidal slayings by young males armed with the family assault weapons.

In loyalist regions, the celebration was muted since even the sycophants are nervous about the President’s new powers of secret, indefinite detention.

Gloria's Blood OrangesIn other news, an agricultural report from California’s Luther Burbank region: There’ll be a bumper crop this year of organic Santa Rosa blood oranges in Gloria’s back yard.

For which we are grateful.

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