Yes, i know some of my readers had already figured this out, but now it’s officially confirmed. In his annual Christmas Message Pope Benedict XIV – Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Patriarch of the West, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of the Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God, and Handmaiden of Satan – announced that i am a Threat to World Peace.
Yes, little me – 72 years old, 5′ 9″, 160 pounds soaking wet, lame, chronically ill, a bit dotty, and utterly unversed in weapons of mass destruction – a threat to world peace. I have never been so flattered. His Holiness went on to explain that i had achieved this distinction by favoring gay marriage and, perhaps even worse, wanting to allow women to make their own reproductive decisions. Gasp. Yes, that bad.
You know, since i’m detecting some of the same levels of logic in the utterances of Herr Ratzinger and Wayne LaPierre, it occurs to me that the Vatican and the NRA may now be using the same scriptwriter.
In any case, this compliment from His Hatefulness inspires me to open a competition for an appropriate logo that all of us Threats to World Peace might wear as a gesture of solidarity and so we’ll be easily identifiable on the street. Something tasteful and readily reproducible, please. Send your entries to mattegray.sf@gmail.com.
Late note: The first response to my request for suggestions was from Louis, Matte’s best friend and Most Loyal Reader, who suggested that since the Roman Catholic Church has now usurped the National Socialists as the most indefatigable foe of gays, an appropriate recognition of this role would be to use a pink triangle like the Nazis did but differentiate and show a little attitude by inscribing “YES” inside the triangle as an affirmation of the rights the One True Church wants to stomp into the ground. Perhaps one of Matte’s artist friends will send him this as a graphic he can display here.
Later note on 24 December: Better than “YES”, inside the triangle put
I
DO
Or something totally different and better.
Meanwhile, i was out the other morning prowling around our derelict waterfront where Cesar Chavez hits the bay and spotted this threat. Sure don’t want that to fall into the wrong hands: