I don’t want folk to think that since my operation i’ve gone totally Orwellian on you and put myself to sleep at night chanting the mantra “Four legs good, two legs bad”, but i have to say that i’ve been, umm, tracking with great interest California’s newest Oregonian immigrant, OR7. Up in Oregon they’ve renamed him “Journey” but we Californians are sticking with “OR7”, the name he was given as a pup.
Think about it. Do you know a single guy who wouldn’t rather be called “OR7” than “Journey”? Or even a married guy? Shucks, you kin call me “O.R.” for short.
Seems that OR7 was already famous in Oregon before he extended his journey into California to grab the title of first wolf here in nearly a century, but the move into California spread his fame. And well, not everybody loves OR7. Environmentalists love him on principle, but ranchers and hunters see wolves as a threat to their cattle and the ungulates they hunt since wolves feed primarily on deer but will eat just about any animal if they’re hungry enough.
With our usual moderation, we here at Matte Gray think there’s room for a few wolves in California. The ones that stalk cattle can pay the price, leaving some wild to help the hunters keep the ungulate population under control to reduce overgrazing and the resultant riparian erosion.
Everyone wonders why OR7 has made his journey of over a thousand miles, but you don’t have to watch a wolf pack too long to figure it out. Only the alpha male gets to mate, so if you’re young and the hormones are acting up, you have to go off and start your own pack by luring a female out of another pack. You know, the old Handsome Stranger bit. Unfortunately, nobody has told OR7 that from the beginning he’s been headed in the wrong direction since his pack was the westernmost in the land.
On the other hand, if he wants to submit his application, we have an opening for a young, healthy male in our zoo. Lifetime job security and top of the line health benefits. And we have to be delicate about this in the job description, but applicants must be willing to assist the luscious lady wolves in the production of offspring. And no, we are not providing photos. What kind of site do you think this is?
And i can’t think of a transition to this Potrero Hill sight since OR7 is mostly color blind: