A Day of Infamy

Wires were jammed this morning with accusations outing Matte Gray as a practicing septugenarian.

Mr. Gray could not be reached for comment, and his friends expressed shock and disbelief.  His office issued the following statement:

artichoke“Matte urges all his readers to remain calm while we look into these scurrilous charges, but we remain confident that his name will be cleared.  A thorough internal investigation has been launched, and we have demanded a recount.”

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