HOW TO REMOVE

OK, back to funny stuff.

Ahhh, sometimes things fall into place. In the early 1970’s i was visiting my friend Dick in Albuquerque and my eye alit on a pile of printed instructions made by one of his colleagues (or a student, and my shame over not writing down the name of the artist is enormous).

how

I looked closer, saw they’d been printed on gummed paper, and howled with such delight and enthusiasm that the artist really had no choice but to give me a copy. Well hell, i was practically kissing his toes. And then the question of where to glue it up arose, so i tucked it away in a folder…where it sat for nearly forty years while i considered my options. I mean, the thing is too wonderful to squander anywhere but a place where it could remain for some time entertaining multitudes.

Which is where it is now.

A little backstory: In 2002 the Real Food Company was acquired by a Salt Lake City company called Nutraceutical. In 2003 the employees of the 24th Street store in San Francisco, having developed an appreciation for the management practices of their cruel new Mormon overlords, decided to unionize. Neutraceutical immediately (and with no notice to the employees, the city, or even the owner of the building) closed the store “for remodeling”. The employees took the case to the NLRB and won in 2005, with the store still shuttered and no progress made on the “remodeling”.

The hearing brought out some really ugly information, among it being that the Mormons just padlocked the store and left the perishables to rot rather than having the decency to donate them to a food bank or something. The store has remained closed ever since as a monument to Mormon mendacity.

So i segwayed down this afternoon and glued HOW TO REMOVE to their window.

real

I have to admit that i felt so deliciously anarchistic that i experienced an adrenaline rush when i glued that up.

I mean, how much time will i do for second degree bill posting? First offense.

I’m gonna drift by there tomorrow to see if it has elicited a visible reaction.

LATE NOTE: OK, a day or two later i signed it “Matte Gray in SF” and got myself in the pic better so as to provide an additional piece of evidence. I envision Mormon elders sitting around a table drafting their fatwa in case i’m not indicted by civil authorities.

But the best part was when i put my camera down and saw my friend Carol walking toward me. We were both delighted by the chance encounter and i pointed out HOW TO REMOVE to her. She read it, burst into laughter, and was rewarded for her good taste and sense of humor with a cup of hot chocolate at Bernie’s across the street.

Now i know that at least one person besides myself has got a thrill outta this thing.

Later Note: Went down there on election day and discovered that HOW TO REMOVE had been scraped off, but you can still see traces of the glue to your left of the vandal’s reflected head:

remove

Why so soon? Well, if you peer inside the building, you’ll see that it looks like work is being done inside the building. Maybe something is about to happen after eight years of Mormon tough love. Hmmm, less than a week after i’d glued HOW TO REMOVE up.

Coincidence?

You be the judge.

Late Note: No, work was no being done. I just hadn’t looked inside in years.

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