Now that the diet is over, a little snack:
Retrieve from the refrigerator the pot of last night’s Barbarian Pork.
Reach in with the left hand and tear from the rich, congealed grease a tennis-ball-size chunk of pork, taking care that it brings with it some of the cooked-down jalapeño and herbs.
Grasp salt shaker in right hand and carefully sprinkle a reasonable number of crystals onto the pork. Put down salt.
Bite off mouthfuls and chew slowly, fastidiously blotting the grease from the corners of the mouth with a wad of paper towel in the right hand.
Repeat as necessary, wipe the left hand with the paper towel, and return the pot to the refrigerator.
Chase with slugs of Diet Dr Pepper directly from the bottle. No no, not that vulgar two-liter thing but rather the dainty 24 oz. size.