OK, I do occasionally fail guyness tests – being, as some wit recently said, a little light in the loafers – but one thing for sure, when my new Griot’s Garage catalog is delivered, I’m sitting there in a puddle of my own saliva when I’ve finished thumbing through its glossy pages. With the exception of the eight pages of cleaning and waxing and polishing equipment and supplies, I want one each of many of the items.
I mean, is there a male whose heart doesn’t leap in his breast at the heading?
ALL THE TAMPER-RESISTANT FASTENER BITS YOU’LL EVER NEED
IN A HUGE 98 PIECE KIT
And then there’s the copy:
“Manufacturers are using more and more unique fasteners to keep us out of their stuff.”
Insufficiently goaded? Read on:
“Even if I can’t fix the part, at least I can poke around and identify the problem so some technician doesn’t try to pull the wool over my eyes.”
Do you want the wool pulled over your eyes?
I can’t hear you!
We don’t need the whole paragraph of features including the three bit insertion locations to give us a multitude of grip options for the driver, do we? That’s overkill. We’re already sold.
Reminds me of that wonderful Dave Barry guyness test from ten years ago about how the aliens land and they give you this little machine that is an infinite source of absolutely pollution-free power. What do you do?
A. Take it to the President of the United Nations.
B. Take it to the President of the United States.
C. Take it apart.
Speaking of guys, here’s one of my favorite cuties, Haworthia maughanii x H. mantelli. This dude has got it all – the flattop, the beard, and the translucence: