February 2004


An admonitory note I sent my friend Andrew, which he agreed I could share:


Picture the following situation:

You are on one of your Nature Walks way up in the hills when suddenly, you are jumped by a mountain lion. Her attack is vicious, and although you fight back valiantly, you lose consciousness.

When you awake you discover that you are wounded too severely to move very much and have been loosely covered in brush. The horror of your situation rushes over you: rather than drag dinner to her cubs, she has tucked you away out of sight off the trail and is bringing the cubs to dinner.

Realizing that when dusk falls she will be back with the cubs to devour you, tastiest parts first, you frantically whip your cell phone out and call for help. They ask, “Where are you?”

Alas, you can give them only the vaguest answer, and you whine, “Oh, if only I had listened to Matte and got myself the Garmin Etrex Vista 24MB Global Positioning System with compass, altimeter, and PC cable.”

Much later, as the sun sinks slowly through a haze of pain, you hear a faint padding sound. “This to save a measly $250,” you whimper.

There is a rustling in the brush…..

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