Segway Accessories

I’ve been doing some thinking about Segway accessories.

Cup holder. Inspired by my journey this morning from Tully’s (cafe) to Walgreen’s holding a cup of hot coffee in my right hand. Yeah, yeah, Dubya fell while trying to Segway with a tennis racquet in his hand, but I got extensive practice at my summer retreat while holding a can of soda in my right hand, so I now have the knack. And it sure was a great crowd-pleaser when I rolled away from Tully’s holding that coffee.

Mobile phone. If the pedestrians and motorists can go down the street shouting into one, so can I. Unlike the motorists, though, I can’t steer with my knees. So I need the cup holder to free up the left hand for steering.

Horn. One of those with the bulb that go, “Ah uuuuu gaaaaa.” Either that or one of those Dutch bicycle bells that quickly wear out so all you hear is a faint “scritch, scritch, scritch” as the bicyclist vigorously thumbs it.

Radio aerial. Suitable for attachment of a small pennant. Radio optional, but in no case to be used without earphones in sophisticated neighborhoods.

And on a related concept: I find it somehow unfair that society deems it perfectly reasonable for children to have imaginary playmates, but yet at the same time declares it a symptom of encroaching senility when, without the aid of a cell phone, I carry on conversations with persons invisible.

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